The Guide, Part Two

Ned and Law Enforcement, Ned is on the right, note the beard (they cannot be trusted), Neds may attempt to take on the guise of Law Enforcement personel to entrap you easily...


After the glorious publication of the Guide that would have benefited all that obey the kind laws of Moscow Centre. [Great reader this is now in the sort of tone that Moscow Centre would approve of - i.e. stylised Soviet speak...] Comrade Ned has ignored the loving embrace of advice from Comrade Stalin, indeed Comrades he has disregarded the laws of truth and kindness to such a degree that he is truly damned.

In short

Ned didn't listen.

I mean for ONE girl to say 'Dude I don't want sexy times with you, I'd rather be intimate with Barnsey, or indeed a passionate relationship with a Satanic Mormon, who only washes on Tuesdays and can only eat beans."

Whilst this is pretty clear, to assist this is a look at Peep Show.

Mark (left) demonstrates dangerously Nedish traits, whilst Jeremy (right) demonstrates the other side of Nedish traits - they are dangerously common

However to go to a friend, and then ask her (basically) the same thing leads me to say this to the Neds of this world.

Now as I write this I am well aware that the real Ned will be sitting down listening to the following...



Trying to reconcile his shattered existence against the barometer of awesomeness which is this blog.

As the tempo starts rising in the song, and he starts singing along - imagining he was some Russian faux-Lesbian from when the song was released - his fantasy will culminate in a shocking realisation.




ANYWAY

By now Ned should realise he sucks and start dealing with this in a constructive manner and in the only piece of advice here, girls do not like losers.


How can you not find these Winners attractive?

Anyway to sum up this wonderful post, dear enlightened reader, I want you all to know this:



[Also great marker - this is all from one foolish Nacireman's brilliant self-cock block - so it is certainly a cultural experience. And one which beats the crap out of feeding orphaned kids in Africa. Hells Yeah, you know it, embrace it...]